Friday, November 4, 2016

New Bid For Freedom- TWO CASES IN COURT for Terrance Shaw

Terrance Shaw now knows he did his horrendous crime as a victim of post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. He came back form the Viet Nam War ,like many veterans, with a serious mental health illness. But know one know of PTSD until recently.

In order to apply for a sentence modification, a prisoner has to prove he has new evidence- the new evidence, which was in no way mentioned in his trial, is PTSD. He thought he was being attacked by the Viet Kong when he killed that woman and he had prepared for days, dressing up in his uniform and getting all his  Viet Nam armory prepared. One wonders where people in the neighborhood were that they did not call for help when they saw this man acting so strangely.

as we say later in this blog, Terrance has worked very hard over the years to reform himself and the VA has  offered him a place to stay and a place in their PTSD treatment program with hopes that once he has successfully completed the program he can help the vets coming into the program. The catch is that the DOC doesn't parole him although he has long been eligible.

Below are links to two cases - they are presented in sections
He recommends starting with post conviction appeal , first one below and  moving on to the "brief of the appellant ", the second one here

https://ffupstuff.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/t-shaw-appeal-2016-ap-314.pdf

the second case deals with his claim the the staff knowingly inflicted pain and suffering on him by denying him use of a wheel chair and confiscation of legal property. The Second one below states the facts, the first one tries to present evidence that the entire motivation for denying the wheel chair and confiscating legal materials, was retaliatory- to suppress his lawsuit activities.
 
https://ffupstuff.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/t-shaw-sum-judge-reply-15cv511.pdf
https://ffupstuff.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/t-shaw-decl-sum-judj-15-cv511.pdf
https://ffupstuff.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/t-shaw-finding-of-facts-25cv511.pdf 



and his introduction to all these files



Last here is our original compassionate release application, done 2015. This is a look at the bigger picture and Terrance is the third person applying here. The money savings presented here are not relevant for today, for prisoners now get medicaid or medicare- ( the money saved part we are doing over) but the rest remains the same.There are three applicants here-and the petition was denied saying there is no compassionate release for Old Law prisoners. (Executive order included in the packet shows there is). Since this was filed, Jim Schuman has lost his mother , and Nancy Ezell has developed breast cancer. She had been complaining of breast pain  for months. We hope it is not too late for treatment and will try again to get her out.

https://ffupstuff.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/t-shaw-compassionate-rel.pdf

GOOD LUCK TO TERRANCE- a valiant and much needed effort!!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Terrance Shaw- an introduction




Terrance Shaw 138254 OSCI (65);PO Box 3310; Oshkosh, WI 543903 Terrance is another man who has devoted himself to self improvement. Other posts in this blog show these efforts.  He is a Vietnam War vet and was very ill with PTSD before there was a name for it.

RESUME
Terrance Shaw's Letter to the governor (pages are backwards on this -start with 2nd page-will change soon)

Terrance Now

Terrance at Arrest

(click on picture to view full size)

Prisoner's Lament

I flush the commode
And watch the contents swirl down
Like all the hopes and dreams
Of what my life could have been.

Terrance J. Shaw, #138254
Oshkosh Correctional Institution
P.O. Box 3310
Oshkosh, WI 54903-3310

Terry also has his own blog,with testimony and documents attesting to all he has done to improve himself. Click on :http://terranceshaw.blogspot.com/

My Crime and Successful Treatment
read his story on blogpost





My Crime and Successful Treatment

In 1981 I raped and murdered a 30-year old woman and was convicted in 1982 to Life plus 20-years in prison, with my first parole eligibility being in 1993. When I first came into the prison system, my Assessment & Evaluation (A&E) specialist determined that I needed to "participate in Sex Offender Treatment (SOT) to learn and understand the dynamics behind my crime, in order for me to lower my risk for parole.”

I was in SOT at WCI for 3-years and in the 2003 SOT Report Summary, "--WCl's Chief SOT Psychologist, Dr. Ankarlo, documented that I-currently have: NO HIGH RISK AREA TREATMENT NEEDS at this time (in 2003). He also wrote in the SOT Program Report that, "Mr. Shaw has benefited greatly from his participation in SOT and has displayed his understanding of the treatment principles in his self-disclosure and feedback." Dr. Ankarlo goes on to state that, "Clinical judgment alone would suggest that he has made sufficient progress in those areas to have completed his SOT need."

So, I figure that since nothing has changed with the severity of my crime since I was convicted and sentenced in 1982, as well as there is no new offense or action to require more treatment than was recommended programming for me at A&E in 1982, I have satisfied the A&E program need requirement recommended for me to lower my risk for parole, and I should be given a Grant for parole anytime after I satisfied the A&E requirement in 2003 with 3-years of SOT at WCI.

But this is not the case. I have seen the parole board 7-times since my 2003 SOT program report and parole says that I still have to "complete" the 3-4 year Sex Offender Treatment Program (SOTP) that wasn't even in existence at the time of my 1982 conviction, sentencing and A&E. I explained to the parole board that I was in the OSCI SOTP from 1997-1999 and was kicked out against my WILL in 1999 after 20-months of SOTP at OSCI for phony reasons/justification, and every time I requested Re-Entry into the SOTP I have been denied Re-Entry by SOTP.

Yet every time I go back up before the parole board each year, the parole board insists/demands that they won't parole me unless I also "complete" the 3-4 year SOTP.
SOTP and the parole board have put me in this phony "Catch-22" situation that is outside of my control. But according to my original A&E recommended program need, to "participate" in SOT to lower my risk for parole, I already did that, so I could/should be already paroled at any time since my EXCELLENT 2003 SOT program report by Dr. Ankarlo at WCI.

The above is an overview of my prison circumstances and parole situation through my past 28-years of incarceration.


My OTHER ACHIEVEMENTS

I will also relate here my other achievements during my past 28-years of incarceration that the parole board seems to be turning a blind eye to, so I will tell you those particulars about me too.
During my past 28-years of incarceration I only have one major conduct report on my prison record, And I still claim my innocence on that one major conduct report, but I won't go into explaining the particulars of it to you, other than to say it was for "Enterprising," for which I still proclaim that I still maintain my innocence, even though the prison found me guilty (because the foxes are guarding the chicken coop).

When I first came to prison in 1982 I didn't even know my high school fractions, decimals, and percents. But during my first year in prison I got clean and sober and had a Spiritual Awakening. I studied hard for my own personal enrichment to remedy my mathematical deficit and went on to the Univerisity of Wisconsin-Extension and got 4-credits in Algebra and 3-credits in Accounting,and became a prison GED math tutor.

I also took and successfully completed the 4-year Ambassador Bible College correspondence course by Herbert W. Armstrong out of Passadena California. After that I took and successfully completed the 3-year Kenneth S. Hagin's RHEMA Bible College correspondence course out of Tulsa Oklahoma for 60-credits.

Then I want on to get a Master's Degree in Religious Studies, a Doctorate in Biblical Studies, and a Ph.D. in the Philosophy of Religion. My Doctoral Dissertation is registered and copyrighted at the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C.

Here at OSCI I had a meeting with Chaplain Reinke and let her know that when I am paroled I would like to apply with the WDOC for an Assistant Chaplain's position, since I believe I am called by God -and my religious correspondence courses make me qualified. OSCl's Chaplain Rainke encouraged me, stating that the WDOC currently employs two former inmates as Chaplains. After I get paroled I also plan to volunteer to speak at jails,prisons, churches, or any place that will invite me to speak, about what I was like,what happened, and what I am like now, in hopes that maybe I can humbly reach out to others to help them turn their life around too.

I believe I have credibility with inmates since I have been an inmate myself for 28-years of straight incarceration. I actually have, and am, walking the walk; therefore I am not only qualified, but I have credibility. I can also relate to inmates (anyone) about faith and spirituality in general, even though my personal faith is Christian. Even to atheists, GOD can be considered a Good Orderly Direction.

The circumstances tending to establish my suitability for parole are that I do not possess a violent crime committed while a juvenile; I have a stable social history and a prior (full time) tax paying work record; I have shown remorse; I committed the crime as a result of significant stress in my life and the significant stress built over a long period of time; I lack any significant history of violent crime; this is my only felony and first time in prison; at 60-years old I am now of an age that reduces the probability of recidivism; I have made realistic plans for release, plus I have developed new marketable skills (that accommodate my various aging disabilities) through taking extensive correspondence courses while in prison; and have engaged in institutional activities that indicate an enhanced ability to function within the Law upon release.

Here, I have shown uncontradicted evidence of my rehabilitation and there is no other evidence that I currently posses a danger to society. My current behavior during my many years since my offense, and my current mental state, demonstrate that my past offense is no longer a realistic indicator of my "current" dangerousness.

I have engaged in extensive rehabilitation through the WDOC and on my own for my own personal enrichment, gained insight into my offense, expressed remorse, and made realistic parole plans. Mere recitation of the circumstances of the commitment offense, fails to provide the required "modicum of evidence" of unsuitability for release on parole. However, the WDOC parole board still refuses to parole me, and even raises new roadblocks to block my parole.

Details of conduct report for those who are interested: As an added point of interest, I was sent from here at OSCI to WCI in 2000 on a bogus conduct report when they found me guilty and gave me 8 and 180 days in the hole here and then sent me back to maximum security at Waupun after they made me do the hole time first. A jailhouse lawyer in Waupun subsequently got that bogus conduct report reversed in outside court so the WDOC had to expunge it from my prison file/record. It took about 18 months to accomplish it, but by then I had been on the WCI Sex Offender Treatment (SOT) waiting list for some time and had been admitted/entered into the SOT program at WCI by the time that bogus conduct report was reversed and expunged,
so when the Program Review Committee (PRC) at WCI was going to send me back to medium security here at OSCI, I requested to stay at WCI so I could continue to participate in their SOT program, and WCI PRC let me stay there in the program for a total of 3-years in the SOT program at Waupun before they sent me back to medium security here at OSCI in 2004.

The reason,I believe they get away with the tyranny that is perpetrated against inmates by some prison staff, unbeknownst to the public, is because there is a definite need for prisons and incarceration because there are definitely some dangerous and distorted inmates in prison that the public needs to be protected from. So under the disguise of justified security and half the inmates crying wolf, the prison staff can get away with banking inmates on bogus stuff behind the closed doors of the prison system and nobody on the outside realizes it and doesn't want to believe the system they pay for with their tax dollars has corrupt elements within it.


It is easier for the public to agree with John Walsh on Americas Most Wanted and "Get those scum bags off the street." And at the same time, there are also some fine, professional and ethical Staff working in the prison system too. It's only the corrupt element that I and others try to expose and defend against. I didn't want to talk about bad prison staff without also acknowledging there are good prison staff in here too.

( Click picture below to view full size)




Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and Terrance's Crime

Terrance J. Shaw, #138254
Oshkosh Correctional Institution
1730 West Snail Road
P.O. Box 3310
Oshkosh, WI 54903-3310
July 30, 2010

Attorney Michael F. Hupy
Hupy and Abraham, SC
100 E. Wisconsin Ave.,
#1110 Milwaukee, WI 53202-4107

Dear Mr. Hupy:
I am writing to you because I see your advertisement on TV every day and I thought if you took my case, after it is all said and done, you could get awarded a 7-figure award or settlement for me/us. I will give you a run down of my case and what I am trying to accomplish pro-se, but I would rather have a licensed (Bull Dog) attorney represent me in court.

I am currently in my 28th year of serving a life plus 20-year consecutive sentence. However, after I came to prison in 1932 for the 1981 crime, I have been diagnosed as having the Vietnam PTSD at the time of the crime, trial and sentencing, but it wasn't known by me, my attorney, the prosecutor, or the judge, at the time of the trial, conviction and sentencing. The court in 1982 never ordered me to be sent to a mental institution for the routine 90-day evaluation before trial, nor did the court order a presentence investigation to be done on me before sentencing me. Right when the jury brought back a guilty verdict, the judge thanked and dismissed the jury, then called me to the bench and sentenced me to life plus 20-years to run consecutive. But after I was in prison for several years and was diagnosed by the Department of Correction's, Dr. Richard Arnesen, as suffering from Vietnam PTSD at the time of my crime, trial, conviction and sentencing, as well as the Veteran's Administration sent their psychiatrist into the prison to evaluate me twice in the 1990s, and the VA psychiatrist also diagnosed me (both times) as suffering from the Vietnam PTSD, as well as did several other Department of Correction's psychiatrists that have subsequently also diagnosed me as suffering from the PTSD also. So I'm thinking if it wasn't for the court neglecting to send me to a mental hospital for the routine 90-day evaluation before trial, plus the court neglecting to order a presentence investigation done on me before sentencing me, my Vietnam PTSD and the part it played in the acting out of my crime, would have been diagnosed and possibly be compassionately taken into consideration at sentencing so that the judge might have given me the life plus 20-years to run concurrently instead of consecutively. OR BETTER YET, if the court had appropriately ordered a 90-day evaluation in the mental hospital before trial, like I believe they are supposed to do in all capital cases, my PTSD would have been discovered and diagnosed before trial, so that I would have been able to plead as suffering from diminished capacity, instead of pleading not guilty and taking it all the way to a jury trial and losing. Either way, I believe the court and/or "the system" screwed up. Now, here I still sit in prison 23-years later with this "new factor" that I now want to bring to the court, when it should have been discovered before trial if the court had ordered me to undergo the 90-day evaluation at the mental hospital before requiring a plea from me before trial.

So this is the issue I/we have to work with, if you would agree to represent me in this "new factor" that "the system" screwed up on 28-years earlier before I was tried, convicted and sentenced.

If you would agree to represent me, I can send you copies of everything I have for my legal argument and Exhibits that I have from my WDOC files as proof of everything I have to prove my case. Everything about the crime and PTSD factors that played out in the crime were later discovered by psychiatrists after I came to prison. I will send copies of everything I have if you are interested in representing me, Mr. Hupy, so you can see what I have, before you officially commit to representing me.
The reason why I mentioned at the beginning of my letter that after it is all said and dons, I believe we could get a 7-figure award or settlement for me/us, is because "the system" screwed up before trial. "The system" has deep pockets. I ended up being convicted as a criminal (instead of a war veteran suffering from Vietnam PTSD) and I have served 28-yoars in prison (so far). However, if the judge (the system) had before trial, appropriately ordered me to go to the mental hosoital for the 90-day evaluation, my Vietnam PTSD and how it played out in the acting out of my crime, would have been discovered by psychiatrists before trial, instead of it being discovered by psychiatrists after I was tried, convicted and sentenced. If "the system" hadn't screwed up in the way I've described here, I could, have pled out to diminished capacity due to suffering from Vietnam PTSD at the tirne of the crime. I could have been sent to a mental hospital for a few years (instead of prison) and been released from tha mental hospital aftar a few years and. treatment. I would have been able to ba a free man again over 20-years ago. During my 28-years of incarceration in prison as a criminal, my mother and stepfather both died believing I was a crazed criminal. I have lost contact with my two children, and subsequently my 4 grandchildren don't know who I am either, because my children have estranged themselves from me because they believe I am a criminal. Plus all the nutnerous daily indignities I have had to be exposed to and suffer during my 28-years (so far) in prison. So I figure I have wrongfully been sent to prison, instead of a mental hospital for a few years, and have served at least 20-years or more (so far) in prison, unnecessarily, because "the system" screwed up before trial. Is that any way to treat an Honorably Discharged veteran who served his country on a remote jungle outpost in Vietnam for one year and held a secret security clearance while doing so? So you see, Mr. Hupy, I believe all this might be worth over a 7-figure civil suit after the case is all said and done, if we are successful.
Before I close I also want to add that I am eternally sorrowful for the pain I have caused my victim, her family, my family, the community, and on so many other ripple effect levels.
The above is an explanation of my issues and situation, Mr. Hupy. If you would believe in me and my case and represent me, I would be very thankful. I have enclosed a SASE for your convenience in responding and letting me know what you think.
Sincerely,
Terrance J. Shaw cc: file

Thursday, August 4, 2011

PAROLE DENIED 2011

First, Terrance states his case on forms.

(click to view large, transcribed below)
DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTION
Oivision o.f Adult Institutions JOC-745 (Rev. 10/2009)
WISCONSIN
Wisconsin Statutes
Chapter 304
Administrative Code
PAC 1
PAROLE/RELEASE PLANNING INFORMATION
TO:
Housing Unit:
DOC Number: Social Worker:
In preparation for your forthcoming parole/release consideration please fill out this form as completely as possible using a black ink pen. This will provide the Earned Release Review Commission (ERRC) with release planning information, and with other requested information, which will be taken into consideration when you are reviewed by them. You must complete this form and return it to the Social Worker/Records Office as soon as possible but no later than ASAP
If you have difficulty in completing the form and need assistance, please indicate this on the form and return it to the Social Worker/Records Office.
TY TO BE
Tamah, WT (veteran's Hospital for Vietnam PISD Treatment Program and Residsntial Housing that I've already been accepted into.)_____________________________________________________________ EMPLOYMENT (Include name, address of employer, the type of work you will look for and/ or the type of work you are qualified for.)
Initially I'll be occupied taking Veteran's Treatment for my diagnosed Vietnam PISD. After I corplete their program, I will be eligible for therapeutic residency following treatrrent. Vietnam PTSD was also a factor in my crime, but I didn't realize it until after I was in prison and OCT's Dr. Richard Amesen helped me discover and understand it through one-on -one therapy sessions and his group therapy/treatment sessions for over 3-years, as well as the role PISD played in the acting out of my crine. After I came to prison I have been diagnosed with Vietnam PTSD by a psychiatrist/MD from the VA Medical Center in Milwaukee, WI. The VA came into the prison on two different occasions to evaluate me & diagnosed me with Vietnam PTSD both times.

HOUSING (Include name, address, telephone number and relationship of person or persons with whom you will live.)
Initially my housing will be at the VA Medical Center at Toman, WI. The VA letter in my file dated 09-27-01, states that I have been accepted into their VA Medical Center at Tomah, WI, for my Vietnam PTSD, and the full-tims residency they wLLL give me tor housing upon my completing their Vietnam PTSD treatment program, plus several other Veteran's Benefits that I 've earned because I am an Honorably Discharged Air Force Veteran with service-corrected disabilities, after I had completed my 4-year enlistment from May 1966 through May 1970, including one-year in the war zone ot Vietnam on a remote jungle outpost where I. also held a secret security clearance.
FINANCIAL STATUS (Include information on all savings and sources of assistance when released as well as all debts, court obligations etc.) I have no debts or court obligations. I have over $1,000 in my inmate account. Before I came to prison in 1982 for the 1981 crime, I had already paid-in to my social security for over the minimum of 10-years (40-quarters) so I am eligible to collect my social security when I reach age 66, as well as I can receive my service-connected disability compensation check every month for the rest of my life too.______________,____________________________
PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS OR MEDICAL PROBLEMS
I have degenerative bone in my right knee, a 10% Bilateral Hearing Loss and Tinnitus in both ears. I suffer fron Vietnam PTSD. It is also noted in my HSU file that I have lower back problems, Rheumatoid Arthritis in my hands/fingers, elbows, shoulders, knees and hips, and heart pain, to where I have to take various medicatiors and carry nitroglycerin on my person 24-hours a day. I also have colon problems (an occlusion) needing additional fiber in my daily diet.
MARITAL STATUS D Single Q Married 0 Divorced D Separated (Include name and address of spouse or ex-spouse, number
of children and support and alimony obligations.) My two children are both adults over 40-years of age.
My daughter's name is Christine J. Matthews. I have two grandsons by her.____________________________ My son's name is Terrance J. Shaw (too) and I have two granddaughters by him.
(Please Complete Other Side)


(click to view large, transcribed below)
(ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: (List other information you feel the Commission should know aboutl your institution programming, group participation, evening and weekend activities, uiner efforts you have made on your behalf at the institution, who visits you and how often, individuals who may assist you when released, and alternate or second plan if any, etc. but DO NOT attach anything to this form.) I want to voice my OBJECTION to the parole board because I believe you are using politics to not parole me by putting me in a catch-22 situation. The parole board has told me ever since 2004 that they will parole me as soonas I complete SOTP over in K-bulding here (even though I have already had a total over S-years of aggregate treatment in prison for my one time crime). The parole board has manipulated the situation and put me in the proverbial catch-22 situation, by telling me they will parole me as soon as I complete the SOTP over in K-Building here; and then the SOIP in K-building has repeatedly REFUSED to accept me into the SOTP. I write to SOTP requesting to get into their progran every year after I see the parole board. Every year I tell SOTP that the parole board has ENDORSED me for SOTP, and every year for the past 7-years, SOTP has REFUSED to put me in SOTP. Since I have no M.R., these past 7-years have been stolen from me because of the manufactured catch-22 set-up between the parole board and SOTP. As far as I'm ccncerned, even though I myself have never refused the SOTP program, I'm fed up with this phony Catch-22 political game you have put me in for the past 7-years. I'm Iong overdue to be paroled. Let's take your SOTP out of the equation and parole me then leave it up to the 980 screening process to see if I can be released to the street, or not. The following circumstances establish my suitability for immmediate safe release on parole from prison. They are: I do not possess a violent crime coimitted as a juvenile; I have a stable social history and prior tax paying work record and owned my own home for 10-years and was sole support for our family of four, when my wife took our children and left me for another nan, before I snapped and did the crime that one afterncm. I have shown remorse; I admitted the crime as a result of significant stress in my life and the significant stress had built ever a long pericd of time-(I have addressed all that in my already 8-years of treatment); I lack any significant history of violent crime; this is my only felony and first time in prison. At 62-years old I am now of an age that reduces the probability of recidivism; I have made realistic plans for release, plus I have developed new marketable skills that accomodate my varicus disabilities and aging, through taking extensive correspondence courses while in prison for the past 28-years in prison. I am still taking ongoing correspondence courses for my own personal erichment and advancement of my further education' So far I have graduated from one 3-year college, one 4-year college, gotten a Master's Degree, a doctorate and a Ph D Yet I still continue taking correspondence courses. (I will either send you a copy of my currently updated resame or bring one with me to give you at the parole hearing.) I have engaged in institutional activities that indicate an enhanced ability to function within the law upon release. I score the Iowest marks for recidivism in the MN-SOST-R,Static-99, and RRASOR Score Sheets, as well as the Federal Risk Prediction Index (RPI). Here I have shown un-contradicted evidence of my rehabilitation and there is no other evidence that I currently posses a danger to society. My current behavior during my many years (3-decades) since my offense, and my current mental state, demonstrate that my past offense is no longer a realistic indicator of my "CURRENT” dangerousness. I have engaged in extensive rehabilitation through the WDOC and on my own for my own personal enrichment, gained insight into my offense, expressed remorse, and made realistic plans for release. Mere recitation of the circumstances of the commitment offense fails to provide the required "modicum of evidence" of unsuitability for release.
INMATE SIGNATURE DATE SIGNED March 31, 2011
DISTRIBUTION: Original - Social Service File; Copy - CRU; Copy - Agent of Record





TERRANCE J. SHAW RESUME
OBJECTVE
To continue to grow intellectually, emotionally, and above all spiritually as I encourage similar development in others. To continue to follow my calling by entering the open job market and obtaining, holding, and functioning effectively as a chaplain, counselor, teacher, or similar worker in a correctional, mental health, military, or social service facility.
ACCOMPLISHMENT SUMMARY
-Served honorably in the U.S. military for four years, with one year in the war zone of Vietnam.
-Subsequently held various transportation-related jobs such as service station operation, taxi driving, over-the-road trucking, city bus (and stock car driver, #66 for Dan's Interstate Phillips 66).
-From military, outside employment, and my current prison counseling ministry, have grown in my ability to surpass stereotypes and see people as people.
-Gained and began to share a deepening spiritual insight as I passed through my experiencing of long-term incarceration.
WORK EXPERIENCE
Spiritual Counselor, Advisor, Minister, Wisconsin Department of Corrections, 1999 - Present. UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY/GOALS
-Dialogue with clients to help them define goals, identify barriers, and find resources that can, in some way, enable them to have a richer more rewarding life.
-Help clients to address areas of concern such as family, divorce, marriage, parenting, homosexuality, hopelessness, feelings of abandonment, anxiety, anger, suicidal thoughts and general depression.
-Draw heavily on learning gained from my personal spiritual quest as well as from our shared experience within the correctional environment.
-Deal intensively with at-hand incarceration related issues, but also, address the future and decisions to be made "on the outside."
APPROACH/METHODS
-Engage in active, empathetic listening and response in order to establish and maintain relationships of positive rapport and trust.
-Respond and attend to interlocutors' body language, and emotional content as well as the logical content of verbal statements.
-Counsel and assist any inmate regardless of social status or reputation within the institution.
-Always work to understand and counsel from each client's own core values, personal goals and definitions of short and long-term problems.
-Ask facilitating questions, make clarifying/reflecting statements, and focus on desired solutions.
-Help clients as they set goals, name stressors and clarify issues.
-Also help them to identify/implement wanted changes, formulate strategies to reach them, and evaluate their effectiveness and desirability of results.
-Add to the value and impact of my counseling by remaining ready and immediately available to fellow inmates around-the-clock to the full extent that institutional security allows.
-Give all types of service ranging from long-term life planning to immediate crisis intervention.
-In addition to one-on-one counseling, facilitate the faith and well-being of others through public speaking to outside church and community groups as well as in our own chapel services.
TERRANCE J. SHAW
Page -2-
SUSTAINING GUIDANCE
-As another key aspect of counseling, give spiritual mentoring to help clients discover how they got into their current life with its problems and to find the strength to ultimately overcome them.
-Emphasize ownership of problems and the behaviors that led to them and how they relate to their ultimate empowerment issue.
-Along with current issues, seek to address the future and decisions that must be made once clients return to "the outside."
-Always aim to empower people by helping them to determine what they can and can't control.
-Motivate all to accept a full share of responsibility so they can take steps to enhance their personal lives both now and in their future faiths.
-As a minister and spiritual counselor, lead others to explore their own particular faith and their relationship with their God, but only in so far as they are open and receptive.
ADDITIONAL GENERAL WORK BACKGROUND
While in prison, held various long-term work assignments including clerical support for our printing school and our garment industry. Have also served as a math and reading tutor for the prison's GED prep program. Before incarceration, was a professional driver for about ten years. Drove a cab, a city bus, a school bus and a stock car for a total of about four years. In addition, drove an eighteen-wheeler from coast to coast covering 600,000 miles in six years. Also, held various minor jobs such as work in a food packaging operation (Stokley Van Kamp) while in high school.
MILITARY EXPERIENCE
U.S. Air Force -- 1966- 1970 Comments: One year of service in the war zone of Vietnam
Held a secret security clearance
Received 7 medals and commendations
EDUCATION -- CERTIFICATION - PUBLICATION
Ph.D. Worldwide Universal Life Church - Modesto, CA Subject Area: Philosophy of Religion Certification: Ordained Minister & Certified Spiritual Counselor
Ph.D., Worldwide Universal Life Church - Modesio, CA Subject Area: Biblical Studies
Publications: Does the King James Bible Have Errors In It? Doctoral Dissertation.
Comment: Developed and published a 54-chapter, 320-page manuscript from my
doctoral dissertation which was registered & copyrighted with the Library of Congress in
Washington D.C.
Shaw's Revised King James Bible, Registered & Copyrighted.
Comment: Based on Biblical errors addressed in my doctoral dissertation, revise entire
King James Bible and filed with the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. Master's Degree, Worldwide Universal Life Church — Modesto, CA
Subject Area: Religious studies
Bachelor of Arts, Kenneth E. Hagin's RHEMA Bible College, GPA: 4.0/4.0 Scale Tulsa, OK Four-Year Correspondence Course, Herbert W. Armstrong's Ambassador Bible College: Pasade

Letter of complaint to parole commission

Terrance J. Shaw, #138254 Oshkosh Correctional Institution P.O. Box 3310 Oshkosh, W£ 54903-3310
May 11, 2011
State of Wisconsin
Parole Commission
3099 E. Washington Avenue
P.O. Box 7960
Madison, WI 53707-7960

Dear Parole Commission:
This morning I had my scheduled parole hearing here at OSCI and I am writing to complain about how I was treated by the hearing officer here at OSCI.
Before I went in to the parole hearing room, the inmate who was in there ahead of me came out and it was inmate Gregory Shade. We recognized and said hello to each other in the waiting room because we've known each other and attend the same Self-Help of Wisconsin meetings for over about 5-10 years. I asked him if he got any good news from the parole hearing officer and he said he got a 10-month defer. Then he said that I shouldn't let the parole hearing officer bait me into "going off" because that's what she tries to do. I said, no problem, as I don't fall for that gambit with the officers either. I am telling you this to let you know that I went into the parole hearing room having just been coached by Mr. Shade not to get angry and/or "go-off."
When your parole hearing officer engaged me, no matter what I said or how I responded to her remarks, her canned response was how much anger I have. That is total fabrication, but I am powerless to do anything about it if that is the way the parole hearing officer here wants to SPIN the hearing. The parole hearing officer started out specifically saying that in my written comments to the parole board I had said that between the parole board and the SOTP program you have put me in a Catch-22, and I also had commented that since I have served 29-years I am long overdue for a parole. She didn't like me having written that and she told me so. When I tried to put it in the context that I meant it, she talked over me and shut me down. So I will now complain about it and tell the parole commission in Madison what I tried to say during the parole hearing before I was rudely talked over and shut down from explaining my side of it. The tape recording will verify what I am letting you know here in this letter. What I had tried, but failed, to speak up in my behalf is the following.
WI inmate Richard Wagner was released from his life sentence in 1991 after having served sixteen years of incarceration. The body of his victim, Susan Reignier was found in a creek bed under a bridge in Brown county. She had been raped and murdered and had apparently been dead for some time. Her corpse was repeatedly raped night after night by Richard Wagner.
WI inmate Danny Shears was released from prison in 1990 after serving sixteen years after being found guilty of two-counts of first-degree murder and one count of armed robbery, where he was sentenced to double-life imprisonment, and an indeterminate consecutive term of 30 years on the armed robbery conviction.
WI inmate Jeffrey Hughes shot his wife twice in the neck with a shotgun and administered one shotgun blast to the face of his neighbor when he tried to reason and calm Mr. Hughes. WI inmate Hughes was found guilty of both first-degree murders and sentenced to two consecutive life terms, and was paroled after serving fourteen years of incarceration.
WI inmate Lowell Stan LaTender was convicted by a jury of first-degree murder and four counts of endangering safety by conduct regardless of life, and one count of reckless use of a firearm. He was sentenced to life imprisonment plus five years, plus 3-years, plus a one-year sentence, all to be served consecutively. LaTender was released in 1991 after serving fifteen years of incarceration.
The above are just four examples of inmates with a similar crime and sentence as myself, and the amount of time they had to serve before they were released from the WI DOC. I have documented 65 cases of WI Lifers that were released after I came to prison and they had to serve mostly in the teens of years of incarceration. But the four examples of WI Lifers that I wrote above are enough to let you know why when I compare similarly situated WI prisoners as myself and what they (all 65 WI Lifers that I have documented) had to serve compared to me (I'm in my 29th year) I am frustrated and feel that by comparison I am long overdue for parole. Equal protection under the Law means that similarly situated prisoners should be treated similarly, and I am not being treated similarly as the other Lifers I gave in the above example and all 65 Wisconsin Lifers that I have documents on. But I was talked over when I tried to speak my piece about it. If you listen to the tape recording of the hearing you will see how I was talked over and shut down when I tried to explain where I was coming from when I wrote in my parole information sheet that (by comparison of similarly situated WI Lifers) I am long overdue for parole. Whatever I said, the parole hearing officer today responded that I have anger and am a risk to the public, etc., etc., etc., ...even though I intentionally went into the hearing room purposely not allowing myself to be angry and "go-off." But the parole hearing officer today had determined that she wanted to write down in her report how angry and what a risk I am, so that is exactly what was done, even though I did not have any anger. The parole hearing officer today was reading the results of her own Rorschach ink blot test, no matter what I said in today's parole hearing, and reading her own Rorschach ink blot test tells more about her than it does me. And what a coincidence (I'm being sarcastic when I say "coincidence") if you read the last paragraph on page two of my parole information sheet I wrote dated March 31, 2011, I gave dozens of examples of why I am not "CURRENTLY" dangerous after I've already done 29 consecutive years in prison. That seems to be too self serving for the parole hearing officer to cause the outcome of today's hearing to say that I am currently dangerous today. Isn't it? The parole hearing officer's opinion today is in direct conflict with CCI psychiatrist Dr. Richard Arnesen's and WCI Dr. Gary Ankarlo's conclusions about me and my excellent progress since I was incarcerated 29 years ago.
And another underhanded practice I want to Blow The Whistle on about the parole hearing today, is she told me she believes I am so "angry" during the parole hearing is because she is a woman and my crime was against a woman. That is a sneaky gambit. I only thought of her as a "staff" until she first put out there that she believes (again reading her own Rorschach ink blot test on herself) it is because she is a woman. Playing the gender card is similar to playing the race card. But I assure you, I responded to Mr. Hart during the parole hearings here I had with Mr. Hart, and he never noted I am angry. I allege/believe the parole hearing officer today had a pre-set agenda to cause the parole hearing summary results to falsely document that I am currently angry and a dangerous risk. That is false and I respectfully object to that sneaky-underhanded tactic being perpetrated on me during a parole hearing. And when I expressed that I was being appropriately assertive and sticking up for myself, she chose to disagree and say it was anger and hatred of "women."
Again, all I can say in response to that is the parole hearing officer is reading her own Rorschach ink blot test and that tells more about the parole hearing officer than it does accurately portray me. I will also state that I am being appropriately assertive and expressing myself in this letter, because I learned and internalized in the 8-years of aggregate treatment that I've already had in the WDOC, that it is mentally and emotionally healthy to put out the real deal, not candy coat things, or stuff my feelings. And I object for what I have learned in treatment to be turned against me and portrayed other than me being appropriately assertive and appropriately sticking up for myself.
Thank you for your time and attention to my letter and hearing me express myself and my feeling about how the parole hearing went today. Good-Bye for now.
Respectfully Submitted,
Terrance Shaw
Cc: file
P.S. One more item I want to comment on that I forgot to mention in the body
of this letter, is when I expressed how sorry I am for the crime I committed, she quickly stated that she didn't believe me. She wasn't there in treatment with me all those years with Dr. Arnesen at CCI and Dr. Ankarlo at WCI, when I cried my eyes out from being overcome with feelings of empathy and remorse. She doesn't see me express to other inmates time after time after time when I express how sorry I am and how bad I feel for my crime of passion I committed back in 1981, 30-years ago. And I will also object to her saying that, and state that her "belief" is not a fact and does not represent how bad I truly feel in my heart for the crime I committed.

Terrance J. Shaw, #138254
Oshkosh Correctional Institution
POBox 3310 Oshkosh, WI 54903-3310

Letter of complaint/appeal to Secretary of Corrections

May 12, 2011
Mr_ Gary Hamblin,
Secretary Wisconsin Department of Corrections
3099 E. Washington Avenue
P.O. Box 7925 Madison, WI 53704

Dear Secretary Hamblin:
Yesterday I was seen by the parole board here at OSCI and I am writing to you to make you aware of my complaint about the way I was treated at the hearing. I am in my 29th consecutive year of incarceration on a Life plus 20-year sentence for the 1981 rape and murder of Mrs. Susan Erickson, I am truly very sorry for my crime against Mrs. Erickson, and the ripple effect my action had on her family, my family, the community, and on so many other levels.
For the past 7-years I have been trying to get SOTP treatment here at OSCI and the parole board has told me on numerous occasions that they won't parole me until after I complete SOTP (even though I have already had 8 aggregate years of treatment since I've been in prison and already did my work in becoming the rehabilitated man I am today). For the past 7- years SOTP has refused to put me into their SOTP program and give me their "treatment." So I have been put in a Catch-22 between the parole board refusing to parole me until after I complete SOTP and SOTP refusing to treat me for the past 7-years„
Yesterday I wrote a letter to the Parole Commission in Madison and explained in detail how phony my parole hearing was yesterday, and what I have to say about it can be proved by listening to the parole hearing tape that was recorded during my parole hearing yesterday. I have enclosed a copy of the letter I wrote to the Parole Commission in Madison, complaining about'how I was treated by their hearing officer here at OSCI yesterday. When you read the enclosed copy dated May 11, 2011, then you will fully understand what I am specifically complaining about.
I have also enclosed a copy of my DOC-745 dated March 31, 2011, that I filled out and signed concerning my parole/release planning information. It is page-2 of the information sheet that I filled out, that the parole hearing officer didn't like me saying. Between my 2-page DOC-745 and the copy of my May 11, 2011 letter to the Parole Commission in Madison that I sent them yesterday, you will understand what I am complaining about and what I am up against.
And finally, I have also enclosed a copy of my currently updated resume' so you can see all the positive advances that I've made for myself while I've been in prison these past 29-years= Actually I've done even better for myself than my resume1 indicates, because when I first came to prison I didn't even know my high school fractions, decimals and percents; but I studied hard to remedy my deficiencies and enrolled in the UW Madison-Extension to successfully complete and get 4-credits in Algebra and 3-credits in Accounting, and went on to become a GED Math Tutor in prison for several years. Through correspondence I also took and completed the one-year Rasmussen Business College as well. I also took several correspondence courses (one-year Writing, one-year Poetry, etc.) that also aren't listed on my resume' (because I didn't have room for all of it). I am still taking ongoing correspondence courses for my own personal enrichment.
Before I close, Mr. Hamblin, I also want to add that I am no longer angry at women like I was before I committed my crime 30-years ago and came to prison. I did my work in the 8 aggregate years of treatment/therapy that I've already had. I now understand that it wasn't "women" generically that beat, raped and abused me when I was a baby and young child. It was several individual women who hurt me when I was little, and my child brain processed that abuse over onto women in general. I now see women (and men) as individuals with different strengths and weaknesses like we all have. I no longer have that "us versus them" mentality. I no longer view women as sex objects. And when I get paroled, even if they didn't put it in my parole rules, I would not have sex with women friends, because now that I am a Born-Again Christian for the past almost 3-decades, I don't believe in sex before, or outside, of God's Holy Sacrament of Marriage. These are the values I have today. The same thing goes for alcohol and drugs. I wouldn't touch either of them with a 10-foot pole, even if I could have a free lifetime supply. I won't even drink a beer on a hot day after I mow the lawn. Not one. Not ever. Iced tea or lemon aide is just fine (and more desireable) for me.
Well this is about The Big Picture at this time, Mr. Hamblin. I hope you will get involved and help me with the problem I have articulated in this letter. Thank you for your time. Good-Bye for now.
Sincerely,
.
Terrance J. Shaw


second letter to parole commission

Terrance J. Shaw, #138254 Oshkosh Correctional Institution P.O. Box 3310 Oshkosh, WI 54903-3310
May 13, 2011
State of Wisconsin
Parole Commission
3099 E. Washington Avenue
P.O. Box 7960
Madison, WI 53707-7960
Dear Parole Commission:
I just wrote you a letter dated May 11, 2011, after I came back from my parole hearing here at OSCI, complaining about how I felt I was unfairly treated at the hearing. I expressed my views to you and thought that was the end of it. However, in my mail today I received DOC-1208, the written PAROLE COMMISSION ACTION. There are some comments written in it that I'd like to respond to because they need to be set right, and I (legally) object to them.
My first objection is where it is written, "You were enrolled in SOT at WCI for many years, an open ended pre-treatment group. You were enrolled in S04 from 1997 until 1999, when you were terminated. Termination report noted you have not reduced your risk to sexually reoffend."
I object to the above written statement on my DOC-1208 because it was intentionally written out of its real-time chronological sequence, in order to falsely portray where I "CURRENTLY" stand on my reduced risk to sexually reoffend. If the above written quote were accurately written and did not lie by omission of the true facts, it would read as the following.
"You were enrolled in SO4 in 1997 until terminated against your WILL in 1999. Termination report noted you have not reduced your risk to sexually reoffend. However, then you were enrolled in SOT at WCI for many years, and WCI DR. Gary Ankarlo, who is the WCI Sex Offender Treatment Program's Chief Psychologist writes in his DOC-7423 SEX OFFENDER PROGRAM REPORT, "Mr. Shaw has benefited greatly from his participation in SOT and has displayed his understanding of the treatment principles in his self-disclosure and feedback." "Clinical judgment alone would suggest that he has made sufficient progress in those areas to have completed his SOT need."
Furthermore, if you look on the front part of Dr. Ankarlo's 2003 SEX OFFENDER PROGRAM REPORT FORM DOC-1423, you will see that I now have NO HIGH TREATMENT NEED AREAS AT THIS TIME.
As you can see above, when my progress is accurately put into its chronological sequence that it actually occurred in real-time, the 2003 report "CURRENTLY" states my excellent sex offender treatment work. Therefore my 2003 Sex Offender Program Report by Dr. Ankarlo, is the most current diagnosis given to me by the WDOC Sex Offender Treatment Program Report. I strongly OBJECT to the OSCI parole hearing officer's 2011 DOC-1208 Parole Commission Action sneakily trying to make my earlier report from 1999 seeming to be the current report, when in fact it is not, as the 2003 Sex Offender Report by WCi's Dr. Gary Ankarlo is the "CURRENT" reporting status that I have indeed reduced my risk to sexually reoffend. Shame on the parole hearing officer for trying to mis-portray what is my "CURRENT" diagnosis for sexual reoffending.
The second written statement that I will object to is the written portrayal of my appearance/body language during the hearing. The following is the written statement. "You claimed these statements were an attempt to be assertive, but you appeared more aggressive than assertive. Your appearance and response to the Commission brings into question the risk you pose to the community. Especially when you are unable to control the circumstances."
I object to the above written statement on my 2011 DOC-1208 because it simply is not true. As far as not being able to control the circumstances, that is the very definition of what a prisoner's minute by minute experience of being in prison is. And of course I don't control the circumstances when the commission is mis-portraying things right to my face. Like the children's story The Emperor's Clothes, I'm not going to pretend the Emperor is walking around in Royal Robes when I can see the Emperor is walking around in his underwear. I'm allowed to appropriately disagree and speak up in my own behalf (it's my First Amendment Right) without me being mis-portrayed as "agressive." Like I stated in my 05-11-11 letter to the parole commission, that the parole hearing officer is reading the results of her own Rorschach ink blot test. Her comments and how she sees them, tell more about her than it does me. Now the parole hearing officer has taken her opinion out of the realm of the audio recording that was made at the hearing (as the audio tape will 100% show that I was appropriate) and shifted it into the arena of how I allegedly "appeared" to her. She maybe did read the Rorschach ink blot test of my rebuttal the way she believes she sees things, but I can assure you, I am not unknowledgeable about "appearance/body language" when engaging another person and I was 100% appropriate in my effect at all times. To support my statement that I am knowledgeable and conscientious about "appearance/body language" when engaging another person, I have enclosed a copy of my current resume' and highlighted in yellow highlighter the pertinent statement about me under APPROACH/METHODS I use when I counsel with an inmate/client. It states, "Respond and attend to interlocutors' body language, and emotional content as well as the logical content of verbal statements." I suggest you read all of my approach methods listed, as it will give you a better understanding of how I conduct myself when I am engaged with another person. And where the commission writes, "Especially, when you are unable to control the circumstances." All I can say is that I in fact did conduct myself appropriately in both response and appearance during the 2011 parole hearing, even though the commission was controlling the mis-portrayal of me that I easily recognized. I would ask you to believe me, based on a preponderance of the evidence that I have provided here in both my current resume' and page-1 of this letter where I proved how the parole hearing officer intentionally attempted to proffer my old outdated 1999 Sex Offender Report as "currently" stating that I had not reduced my risk to sexually offend, and lie by omission about my 2003 Sex Offender Report by Dr. Ankarlo that is an excellent report showing that I now "currently" as of 2003, have NO HIGH TREATMENT NEED AREAS AT THIS TIME, and his written opinion that, more likely than not, I will not sexually reoffend. Therefore I strongly (legally) object to the parole hearing officer falsely portraying my effect as aggressive,
The next written statement that I object to is where the parole hearing officer states,
"The purpose of the hearing process is not for the inmate to negotiate release."
I'd like to say that a hearing is an interview, and in all interviews it is appropriate to put your best foot forward. I object to the hearing officer again attempting to
shut me down and try to make me feel bad for appropriately speaking up in my own behalf.
I'm an Honorably Discharged service-connected disabled Vietnam Veteran and I put my life on the line and fought for this country to uphold our United States Constitution. So I strongly object to any attempt to intimidate me into forfeiting my First Amendment Right of Freedom of Speech that our United States Constitution guarantees me. As long as I am appropriate and don't falsely yell "FIRE" in a movie theater (because that is inappropriate) I will always exercise
my First Amendment Right to Freedom of Speech that I fought to protect for all of us Americans here in the United States.
I have also enclosed pages 13, 28-29 & 40 from my Prison Legal New subscription to show the commission how the legal precedent pendulum is swinging regarding the courts/law and parole.
The next Parole Commission written comment that I take issue with is where it is written, "You still host many frustrations over your childhood, and attribute your anger to the abuses suffered at the hands of various women. You also stated suffering from PTSD as a result of military service."
I object that I"host many frustrations" over my childhood. I do in fact suffer from chronic Vietnam PTSD, and I was suffering from Vietnam PTSD at the time of the crime, trial and sentencing, besides just now. That is why I want to be released to the Tomah Veteran's Hospital where I have already been accepted to their residential Vietnam PTSD treatment program. As far as my childhood abuses, I have already dealt with them during my almost 8 aggregate years of treatment/therapy with CCI's Dr. Richard Arnesen, and WCI's Dr. Gary Ankarlo. The following is what I learned from Dr. Arnesen during all the many years I got one-on-one therapy and group therapy with Dr. Arnesen for about 4-years. This will demonstrate that I have already learned from previous WDOC treatment, how the dynamics of the circumstances had played out in my crime.
The court in 1982 never ordered me to be sent to a mental hospital for the routine 30-day evaluation before trial in a capital murder case. Nor did the court order a presentence investigation to be done on me before sentencing me. Right when the jury brought back the guilty verdict, the judge thanked and dismissed the jury, then called me to the bench and sentenced me to Life plus 20-years to run consecutive. However, AFTER I was in prison for several years, I finally had occasion to be seen by Psychiatrist/MD Dr. Richard Arnesen, at the Columbia Correctional Institution (CCI) and he diagnosed me as suffering from the Vietnam PTSD, and told me I was suffering from it at the time of the crime, trial, conviction and sentencing. Then CCI's Dr. Arnesen had me alert the Veteran's Administration in Milwaukee, and the VA sent their psychiatrist to the prison to evaluate me twice in the 1990s. The VA psychiatrist also diagnosed me at both different evaluations as suffering from the Vietnam PTSD, as well as a handful of WDOC psychiatrists have subsequently also diagnosed me as chronic suffering from the Vietnam PTSD. A few years ago, a WDOC psychiatrist put me on Prozac because of my chronic Vietnam PTSD, yet I still haven't been allowed to go to the VA hospital in Tomah, Wisconsin to take their residential Vietnam PTSD treatment program that the VA has approved for me to take way back when their VA psychiatrist twice diagnosed me as suffering from the Vietnam PTSD at two separate evaluations in the 1990s. All of this is documented in my WDOC files.
Prior to the crime, I felt I was under attack, but I couldn't identify who the enemy was, so I took out my full-sized Vietnamese National Flag and pinned it to my living room wall and wouldn't let my wife take it down. I loaded up all my guns and stationed them around the house, pulled the drapes, started wearing my jungle combat boots/clothes, and sat rocking in my rocking chair with a loaded rifle across my lap, drinking bourbon out of a milk glass, muttering paranoid self-talk. CCI's Dr. Arnesen helped me learn I was suffering from the Vietnam PTSD before the crime, but I didn't know it, nor did I know what PTSD was. So it never came up at trial. At the time of my arrest and trial, I would not admit guilt because back then in my screwed up Vietnam PTSD shocked/foggy state of mind, my mindset was that 'the military had trained me NOT to cooperate/collaborate with my captors. The military had trained me that it was my DUTY to resist. But none of this was consciously known by me at the time of my crime, arrest, trial and conviction.
Also, the following is a further description of what CCI's Dr. Arnesen helped me understand during my one-on-one and group therapy-treatment with him. Now, in hindsight, I can see how it is directly related to why, besides Vietnam PTSD, I also had childhood PTSD that is directly related to my offense. These facts are what I learned through my many years with Dr. Arnesen"s kind and caring work with me at CCI. They are not excuses or an attempt at justification for my crime, They are just the facts.
My wife of 13-years and I just had a violent screaming-match argument over the phone. She told me that we weren't getting the family back together (like she had led me on to believe during our temporary trial separation)and that she was no longer coming over to our home for our regular afternoon
"matinee" (sex) that we'd been doing every month since she took our children and moved out. During our telephone argument she told me that fucking me was like taking a shit and my penis was like a macaroni noodle. When she said those hurtful things to me, it was the straw that broke the camel's back
for me at that moment in time. I went ballistic and slammed down the phone, got in my car and went looking for her. I was driving around continuing the argument with my wife in my car, but she was not there in the car with me. Earlier that day before the terrible phone call, I had already been drinking
alcohol and taken a blotter of LSD, so I was imagining her in the car continuing the argument with me. I was contemplating suicide by violently crashing my car, but instead of turning my anger inward on myself, it flashed out on someone else.
I drove past this house and saw a woman through the picture window, whom at that time I believed to be my wife. But in reality it was Mrs. Erickson, whom I had never met before in my life. I'm not sure what time it was, but it was about mid-afternoon sometime. I stopped the car and went straight
into the house and started cursing her, using the name of my wife, Valerie. I then punched her knocking her down, raped her, then tied her up using my jungle combat boot laces and went to use the bathroom. It is my belief that she assumed I had left the house because after she saw me come out of the bathroom she had freed herself from the bindings. She became startled and grabbed a butcher knife off the counter to defend herself and we fought over the knife, when my combat training kicked-in and I overpowered her and killed her.
The above episode was the worst minutes of my life. Every April I recallthe anniversary of the event and grieve it worse at that time than I do during the rest of the year.
Before the afternoon that the crime occurred, I want to provide information as to how this was related to my PTSD, which I only discovered myself from Dr. Arnesen working with me all those years at CCI.
At the time of the 1981 crime, I was going through bankruptcy and the death of my uncle Bernie. My uncle Bernie was the closest thing I had to a part-time father growing up. He was diagnosed with throat cancer, shrunk down to 51-pounds and died within a year after his diagnosis. And now I had just learned the trial separation between my wife and I had been a sham on her part, and I was facing divorce and losing my children/family too. When my wife took the children and left me a few months earlier, she had cuckolded me, left me for another man, and took away my two grade school aged children. I had already felt I was under attack again, the same fear in my gut like over in Vietnam, but I couldn't identify who the enemy was. This was my state of mind at that time.
Another factor T/hich placed a role in all of this was not consciously known to me either, until I met Dr. Arnesen at CCI and he worked with me for a few years one-on-one and invited me to join his treatment/therapy group. According to Dr. Arnesen, I had "compartmentalized and dissociated" from all my childhood traumas. But Dr. Arnesen helped me to admit and understand the dynamics of all this and how it effected me and the crime I committed at this crucial point in my life. The following is what that is.
I was born and abandoned in the hospital/orphanage (St. Anns / St. Michaels) by an unwed mother in LaCrosse, Wisconsin in 1948, so I had abandonment issues I wasn't consciously aware of. The married couple that adopted me from the LaCrosse Catholic Services shortly after I was born (The Shaws), had the husband die within the first year I was adopted. I believe it greatly effected my adopted mother, (Florence Shaw) who seemed to acquire mental health problems because of it, because from my earliest memory she always yelled and screamed at me, beat me with a belt, yardstick, and/or hands, all over my body, and frequently threatened to send me back to the orphanage for being a "bad little boy." I was too little to understand what she was doing was wrong, as all I knew was that it scared me, hurt terribly, and made me cry. She would never stop beating me when I cried; as she only stopped beating me when she ran out of energy. I lived in fear that at any time she would start revving herself up into a frenzy and do it again and again, which she frequently did several times a week. (This is why I joined the Air Force with a 4-year enlistment at age 17 in 1966, so I could get out of the house as scon as I could possibly get out on my own.) When I was little she blamed me for her having to pay for my food and clothing all by herself without a husband to help her. Numerous times she would beat me, dip me in scalding hot water, tie me up, and shut me in the closet. One summer, an adult female baby-sitter my mother had hired to babysit me while my adopted mother was at work at her minimum wage job, repeatedly raped and tortured me (squeezing my testicles to make me cry and shoving pencils and Popsicle sticks up my rectum). She also made me touch her private parts and it made me cry every time because I was so scared. I told her no over and over, but I was only about 4-years old and too little. She overpowered me and there was nothing I could do about it. The crime I committed in 1981 is almost a copy of acting out of this childhood rape that was done to me, when I snapped that one afternoon on Mrs. Erickson, the victim in my crime.
Some of my aunts also beat and abused me, as well as the nuns in grade school. One aunt (aunt Cornilia) eventually got her electricity shut off and taken away in a straight jacket by the sheriff and put in the funny-farm in West Salem. But before all that, she baby sat me numerous times in her home and repeatedly abused me terribly.
As a result of my wife leaving me for another man, it triggered or exasperated my abandonment issues, (that I didn't know I had) which in turn, triggered or exasperated my PTSD issues (that I didn't know I had). Since I was adopted, my grade school aged children that my wife took with her when she left me, were the only blood relation that I had on planet earth, and that factor also played into another trigger/straw that finally broke the proverbial camel's back,when I snapped and did the crime that one afternoon in 1981.
5CCI's Dr. Arnesen helped me learn and understand that all my baby and childhood beatings, abuses and traumas were a major contributing factor in my crime, that according to Dr. Arnesen, is somewhat similar to battered woman's syndrome, only applied to me and my long years of repeated baby and childhood beatings, rapes, and other abuse. None of these factors were consciously known by me at the time of my crime. It wasn't brought up from my compartmentalized and dissociated subconscious until after I was convicted and met Dr. Arnesen at CCI and he worked with me and helped me so that I could express and understand it, and the dynamics of everything and how it all came to a head and played-out in my crime that one afternoon in 1981.
I also want to add that I am eternally sorrowful for the fear/pain/death of my 30-year old victim, Mrs. Erickson, her family, my family, the community, and on so many other ripple-effect levels. I have also successfully participated in the LaCrosse Victim-Offender Reconciliation Program (VORP) with the family (parents, husband and children) of my victim, Mrs. Erickson, and it is also documented in my prison file.
So in the above pages, (between the dashed lines) is what I have learned from CCI's Dr. Arnesen, about me and the dynamics of my crime from all the years of therapy/treatment I've already received. And I strongly OBJECT to the parole hearing officer's written comment stating that, "You still
host many frustrations over your childhood, and attribute your anger to the abuse suffered at the hands of various women. You also stated suffering from the PTSD as a result of military service." The parole hearing officer asks me questions and I answer them. I am able to answer them about my crime
and what led up to it because of the good therapy work CCI's Dr. Arnesen did with me all those years I was receiving therapy/treatment from Dr. Arnesen.
And now when I answer the questions and articulate what I've learned in therapy,'I get the parole hearing officer casting it back in my face that I still "host"many frustrations over my childhood. Please don't continually attempt to mis-portray, mis-characterize, (criminalize) my normal behavior. I'm simply articulating what I learned and internalized in therapy/treatment with CCI's psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Arnesen. I've already dealt with those issues during
my 8 aggregate years of treatment at CCI with Dr. Arnesen and at WCI with Dr. Ankarlo.
But it appears by the way the OSCI parole hearing officer portrays my answers to her questions, as if she wants to pretend I haven't already dealt with all these issues during my 8 aggregate years of therapy/treatment that I've already had. With the OSCI parole hearing officer's SPIN of the hearing, she can pretend that I now need 3 more years of SOTP, when in fact, according to my 2003 Sex Offender Treatment Report from WCI's Dr. Ankarlo, I have NO HIGH TREATMENT NEED AREAS
AT THIS TIME, and in Dr. Ankarlo"s written opinion in his 2003 report, I have made sufficient progress to have completed my Sex Offender Treatment Program need.
One final issue I will comment on before I close, is that because of the misrepresentations made by the parole hearing officer in her 2011 written comments that I've addressed
in this letter today, especially her sneaky changing of the chronological sequence of my 1997-1999 SOTP program participation, as if it were the latest/current diagnosis
on me, when in fact it is Dr. Ankarlo's 2003 report that is really the "CURRENt" diagnosis and WDOC psychological doctor's opinion I have, I now don't trust anything else negative
that the parole commission has to say. And if the commission insists on me taking the additional 3-years of SOTP treatment, then I don't trust that either (even though I'm not
"refusing" treatment). I don't believe the commission and the SOTP program will take all the good progress I've already made in the 8 aggregate years of therapy/treatment I've already had, and respect it. I believe they will take my excellent "CURRENT" 2003 psychological report/diagnosis, and molest it. After me already having 8 aggregate years of therapy/treatment and already served 29 consecutive years for my 19B1 crime,
and what the parole hearing officer demonstrated during the hearing and in her written comments, I have lost faith/trust in the commission and SOTP and believe you both are trying to put forward a hidden agenda that I have articulated here.
I believe the ocmmssion and SOTP has a hidden agenda to re-diagnose me and pretend all the good therapy/treatment I've already had, doesn't count, and attempt to write new more currently dated reports on me that will appear to invalidate all my excellent 8 aggregate years of therapy/treatment reports I got from CCI's psychiatrist/MD, Dr. Richard Arnesen, and WCl's Chief Sex Offender Psychologist, Dr. Gary Ankarlo. And as I stated during my parole hearing, if that ever happened, it would initiate an automatic law suit for malpractice, because an OSCI SOTP diagnosis and treatment report that is the opposite of Dr. Arnesen and Dr. Ankarlo's reports, can't both be right. And if SOTP starts giving me bad reports, that are in conflict with my previous doctor's reports, then they both can't be right, and one of them is negligent and guilty of malpractice. It will only be a matter of the jury deciding which one is guilty of being a phony lying put up job. And by what I proved about Ms. Davidson's playing games with the chronological sequence of my 1997-1999 SOTP, compared to my 4-years in WCI's SOT after the new millenium, as is evidenced by my 2003 Sex Offender Treatment Program Report by Dr. Ankarlo in 2003, it is easy to see by the facts of which one the jury will decide that any drastic changes nowadays, compared to what is already documented by both Dr. Arnesen and Dr. Ankarlo, it will be the 2011 Parole Hearing Comments and subsequent similar type of shenanigans by SOTP re-diagnosing and awfulizing that I am now changed to being dangerous again, that the jury will see through as fake/phony. And the phony/political Catch-22 game between the parole not paroling me until after I successfully complete SOTP, and SOTP refusing to treat me for the past 7-years, will shout loud and clear to the jury what is really what, especially when the jury takes into consideration the 65 Lifer cases I have documented and referred to in my May 11, 2011 letter to the parole commission a few days ago earlier this month. And don't think I am "threatening" a law suit, like Ms. Davidson commented on the parole hearing tape recording during the hearing with me. All I am saying is that equally situated prisoners are supposed to be treated equally. That's the Law. So if/when the parole committee and SOTP break the law, then they need to be held accountable, just like the rest of us Americans. It's as simple as that. If you don't want to be held accountable in court, then don't break the law. Equal protection under the law works for you the same way it is supposed to work for me and the 65 similarly situated Lifers that I commented about in my May 11, 2011 letter to the parole commission earlier this month. Just because I am informing you of the law, don't SPIN my comments as something they are not. Don't pretend I am angry or aggressive, or any other toxic language you want to use to put a negative SPIN on my point of view when I exercise my First Amendment Constitutional Right to Freedom of Speech.
Now that I've said what I wanted to say, and I trust I have expressed myself appropriately, I will close my letter here at this time. Good-Bye for now.
Sincerely,
^Terrance (jj. Shaw
End: My Currently Updated Resume1
Pages 13, 28-29 & 40 of my Prison Legal News
Cc: file
P.S. Furthermore, as part of my studies while I've been in prison, I studied BODY LANGUAGE 101 by David Lambert, just to let the commission know that I KNOW my speech and appearance was NOT aggressive during the hearing.